It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
