i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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