she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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