hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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