It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
