it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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