By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
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