I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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