who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
