I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
