SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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