'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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