mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
