Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize