His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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