I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
