he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
