I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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