When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
