I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
