I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
