I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Found the puke drawer
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
