Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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