so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
