It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize