I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
