When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
