K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
