Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
