I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
