When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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