jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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