Sponge bath it is.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
