I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it hurts more in the daytime
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
