arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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