You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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