Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
