p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it's like iHOP with fire
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
is it fun? or sober?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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