he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize