in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
