C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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