things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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