no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
