I'm really into asian looking animals
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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