Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
