Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize