i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize