Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
