Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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