16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
