Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
