I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
