Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
