Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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