You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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